Today's Thought: “A medicine cat has no time for doubt. Put your energy into today and stop worrying about the past.” -Erin Hunter, Rising Storm

Is Romance really dead?

Enashree Chakraborty
  • The war to equality may have kicked romance out of the park.
  • A strong independent woman is still just as feminine as any.
  • End of romance lead don a pathway of desperation, ending in aggression.

We all grew up dreaming about the perfect guy, the perfect house and the perfect family. Granted there are altercations to be made about the type of guy we deemed as perfect, or the way our dreams changed over time, but the bottom line is that a good romance puts us on top of the world.

This notion however is heavily debatable in these times. In the 60s through the 80s, men would woo the women they wanted to court. Strong, independent women would handle their careers as well as be swept off their feet in a good love affair. Things were black and white. Then came the Gray time of the 90s. Men and Women started fighting for their rights and the cold war brewing between the two genders, began blurring the line between healthy romance and a will to control. By the time the 2000s rolled over, we were so far past our originality that we began to lose ourselves in the fight.

The thing is, women wanted to feel like an equal in society. But the more they fought, the more they felt like they had to change their personalities to be taken seriously. Therefore, while a woman was fighting for her place, she had to adapt strong emotional qualities and let go off expressing her feelings in a healthy manner lest she be considered weak. In a world ruled by men like Adolf Hitler and Mussolini, woman assumed that if she could start behaving like a man, maybe, man would take her more seriously. Thus ended the fluttering eyes and stolen glances. In an effort to equalize our rights, we lost the means of flirting. Flirting is quite literally the gateway to romance.

Another important factor is, men have a primal need to protect their women. This dates back to primitive days when the man would hunt down the wild animals to provide for their families and keep them safe. Now women know how to protect themselves, and let’s face it, we had to learn. Given the growing statistics of abuse and violence, we couldn’t just wait around to be rescued. We learned to defend ourselves against predators, human or otherwise.

This paradigm shift in power caused a ripple effect into leading men to believe that women don’t need them and they are basically obsolete, which is not really true. Men simultaneously reciprocated by replacing flowers and chocolates for alcohol and one-night stands. The rules of romance changed.

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I, personally, always dreamt of my perfect man and for many years through high school and grad-school I loved when my boyfriend surprised me with a box of chocolates or a romantic evening for the two of us. It always made me smile. But eventually those sweet guys were replaced by men who were more focused on getting a girl drunk to get her into bed. It was quite sad really, as I watched those beautiful moments being replaced by men and women treating each other like meat.

Nowadays, everyone is replaceable. The binding covenant of love and companionship is lost somewhere in the hustle of everyday life. People don’t take the time to connect. They just see the other person as a means to an end for the night. This is not even one-sided where only man is to be blamed. Women are doing the same thing. People will say anything just to have the other to sleep with them.

Still, it’s not like there still aren’t those few couples who have managed to keep romance alive in these uncertain times. They were the ones who never let go off their roles as strong individuals in the world, whatever gender or orientation they might be. But more and more couples are breaking up and getting divorced these days. This is because they did not bother to take the time to learn about the other person before they desperately blurted out “I love you” hoping to get laid.

Studies have shown that there are:

  • As of 2019, 52% of marriages end in divorce
  • More than 35% of children are growing up with single mothers
  • More than 26% of children have single fathers
  • Roughly 17% of couples got married due to unplanned pregnancies
  • And dreadfully 73% of suicides and attempted suicides are because of broken hearts.
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It’s a truly sad day when we learn that the flickering light of inequality has wiped out the romance in our hearts. After all, romance was a way to escape our frustrations of the week. Just the companionship of a like-minded spouse would wipe away the smirk and replace it with a smile. Without romance, people are getting more and more aggressive and very soon there will be no love left in the world. Let’s rectify the situation before it is too late. We need to put the romance back in relationships.


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